I was walking through the centre of a very busy shopping mall yesterday and had to do a double-take – was the heat from all the people getting to me or was I trippin’!?
No, I though, it’s not that crowded and actually I’m quite cold.
No, I told myself, there is no way on earth I could be trippin’, not unless the cigarette being puffed by that busker I passed outside was one of those “suspicious” cigs…
… but but but but but- BUT SANTA!!
It was then that I had to finally accept. Proudly declaring his presence from one of those stalls in the middle of a mall walkway was a giant sack, shaped like that bearded devil Father Christmas.
My stomach lurched. You see it once, and then the signs start popping up everywhere, A few boxes of cards here, the odd plastic tree there, baubles of various colours on shelves previously occupied by sunglasses.
Not to come across as all Scrooge-like on you just yet, but I’m no great fan of Christmas and I’ve never made any secret of that. But you see, Christmas and I have an understanding. And that understanding is that I suffer through its overwhelming presence over the end of the year; then it buggers off for 10 months (I let it have November as well as December so people can, y’know, bask in the Christmas spirit and whatnot, I’m not a total meanie).
But you see, this year, Christmas seems to be under new management, and clearly that management has not been informed of its place – primarily, not in my line of sight for another three months at least!
And it is only just the beginning of September, who is to say that stall hasn’t been there for weeks! I wouldn’t know, I’ve not been there for a while! The traitor!
So I’m putting it to you here and now; do you, or do you not feel that even the most hardened cracker-pulling, turkey munching, snow-loving, reindeer petting, Santa worshipping disciple of the Christmas spirit, should be having a difficult time stomaching this level of devotion to a single, solitary day, that won’t be happening for another 4 months?
Not only that, there are other events to revel in that require sufficient shop decorating space to be called a “holiday” before (dreaded) December 25th. Halloween and bonfire night for a start. What are they going to do with the dear old Santa socks and unnecessary greetings cards when they come around, put them back in storage?
Well I say yes they should because that’s where they belong for now!
Ok, rant over, with the potential for more closer to the appropriate time for them. Ya hear that Elves, that’s what you should be giving the little girls and boys, a calendar, and while you’re at it, ask the Boss Man for one for yourselves so that no-one gets confused.
SSDD – oh no I’m sorry, apparently it should be “Merry Christmas” already!