Are You Happy In Your Job? Neither’s America!

Are you happy at your job?

Think about it – are you really happy doing whatever you’re doing?

Phillip DeFranco’s Youtube video the other set me onto an interesting thing. A social experiment was conducted recently in America and it turns out the American dream ain’t all so accessible for 52% of Americans. That’s how many people were said to be unsatisfied in their job and that the “perks” of working in certain establishments, such as games rooms and massage parlours and free catered meals and casual Thursdays, beer Fridays, health care and dental and whatnot, are not enough to grant them overall satisfaction in their work. 18% said they were “actively disengaged”. Essentially these people are just slumped over their desks, buggering about, pressing a few keys then slipping off for a beer to take the edge of the boredom.

What makes me sad is that only 30% felt their job to be “actively engaging or inspiring“. In a population of millions, in a country apparently busting at the seams with opportunity and preaching happiness and fulfillment and all that overly positive Americanness, such a tiny number of people have actually found that.

What does that say about the productivity of such a vast country? If they can have the amount of influence that they do with only 30% of people actually doing any properly motivated work, can you imagine the madness that would ensue if the other 70% were engaged?? It would either become a world so overrun by sunshine and productivity that the actual sun would feel like an underachiever and find another solar system (assuming of course it isn’t an unmotivated working class American, of course, in which case it would probably just stop shining) or it would be complete carnage! War. Need I say any more? They’re already farting rainbows over there, who’s to say what could happen!

When_The_Sun_Is_Gone_by_artofkerem

Which made me think. This isn’t even the number of people who are not doing the job they want, that dream job that has everything they are looking for in a satisfying occupation – these are just the people who are doing a job, one to get by, get some money, get paid and go home. What of the people who got the dream job – then discovered it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be?

I’m under no illusions. In a society so uncertain of its future, life seems to be filled with “just getting by” moments, people doing what they can for money to support themselves and their families – but isn’t that such a crap way to live?? Argue that life is full of winners and losers, people who get what they want and people who don’t and that it all comes down to whoever has the balls to go out and get what they want gets it, but I think that’s a load of bull.

happy accordion player

happy accordion player

That’s like saying those 52% of unhappy people never tried to achieve their dream. Maybe they did. Maybe it just didn’t quite workout. Maybe they wanted to make it as a street accordion player, but unfortunately, the public were more into skater haired street buskers at the time. Gutted for them. Now they sell insurance in a call center.

Forget that – who is to say they’ve even decided what they want to do with their lives and are just trundling along at half speed til they can work it out. I’m 19 and I’m currrently trying to work out what the hell I’m going to do with the rest of my life. There are times when I think “well Gem, you’ve made a royal balls up of your life so far, what are you going to do about it??” Terrifyingly (though not altogether unexpectedly) the general response from that voice in my head is either silence or… “…fuck if I know, you control the legs in this situation, you work it out!” Yeah, coz the voice in my head is extraordinarily rude, by the way. Should probably have a word with it about that actually…

try again! never too late to rock the street XD

try again! never too late to rock the street XD

So now I’m wondering; what can the people represented in that awful stat do about it? Can they do anything? Go back to that accordion and hope the market’s changed? Get a hair cut and conform for the sake of a taste of success? How do you even measure success. I think it’s personal. If you are satisfied then surely that’s a job well done? You might not have millions in the bank, but you will be rich in spirit.

From the sounds of America, this whole appearance of total contentment in life is a facade, a nation wide pass time of pretence and self disillusionment. Maybe they should take a look at a happy busker, an old man and his accordion. A guy who took up the art again after years wasted in a desk job, having given up on the dream of his youth ; chances are there are holes in his shoes and a couple of missing buttons on that old thing, but I’ll bet there’s a smile on his face. Because he’s made it; he’s playing to his audience. Whether they listen or not is irrelevant – that little bugger with the cool hair has gone home… I hear he sells insurance now…

SSDD

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I Left It To You… Then I Went With Her…

I Left It To You… Then I Asked Her.

(click above to link to original post!!)

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I got in touch with the person about whom I was going to make a post. We had a really honest, open conversation and… She was open to the idea! 😀 Just not right now.

There was a condition attached to my posting the piece – that I post it, just not right now. The pictures of her are from a time in which soul deep wounds were inflicted upon her. She feels that it is important that the picture I have, and some others she intends to give me, are put out there at some point, as a point of reference for others who have suffered as she did.

But for now, the wound is too raw. So raw it bleeds. I showed her the words and she liked that they were not “jazzed” up, not “glitzed” for the sake of softening a difficult topic. It is the truth.

And when she is ready, I will be the mouth piece for her story.

Blogs are a wonderful thing. They give voices to the mute, give freedom and expression to those who feel the manacle-like grip of adamantine bonds. It is this that she is waiting for – her cue that she’s ready.

Right now she is working on breaking free from the bonds that bind her to those pictures. When she does, she’s going to need an outlet for that re-newed energy and life. Apparently, that’s going to be my job.

So if you want to hang around with me til then, I’m happy to have you. I’ll be ranting and raving on here til my hands are too arthritic to press the keys, at which time I’ll get some fancy pants computer that can be controlled with my eyes, and I’ll be shoving my opinion out there still! No getting rid of me. I just decided that in this case, it is best to help her heal, than to increase the Blogosphere. Hope you understand.

Let me know – do you think I made the right decision?? Love to know what you think!

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SSDD

I Leave It To You To Decide…

Ladies, Gents, Bloggers, and general internet type folk. I have a favour to ask of you.

I value my blog followers. You give me a little lift every time I think that one of you might have read another of my minds random natterings and, for all I know, delusional little farts that result in whatever spluges itself on this site. So, I have a question for you.

I’ve never done the Weekly Photo Challenge before but I have done one for this weeks – CURVES. The only thing is, it pertains to somone I used to know. It is one image and this image is not pretty. I am rarely in contact with this person anymore, but I have excluded their face from the image.

The image is quite hard hitting, though somewhat disturbing.

My question to you is: Do You Want To See This Post?

I will leave it one day, any responses will decide whether it gets posted or not.

 

SSDD

Sometimes We Must Weep For Kismet

I think of myself as being open minded. I may not be religious, but I believe in something being out there, exerting some kind of control over the goings on of the world. A tweak here, a nudge there. Maybe even a big ol’ slap in a certain direction from time to time.

But there are some things that make me hope to (a metaphorical) god that there is some kind of quantifiable reason for. Because if there’s not – whatever force influences us is a bit of a scummy entity.

s-JUSTIN-STANFIELD-THOMAS-large http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/08/justin-stanfield-thomas-killed_n_3407551.html

I encountered this story on the Huffington Post Crime and it made me feel sick. A father and his 4 year old son went to visit a friend. Somehow, the boy got hold of a gun fired it. The bullet hit his father. His father is now dead.

Some things you hear make you weep for the way the world spins. Surely this proves American gun laws are stupid. Surely this is another nail in the coffin of the argument in favour of guns being allowed in private residencies; a coffin, I might add, which has now got to be so riddled with nails that it resembles a giant stud ball, by the way. Kids are still getting hold of guns, even if this was an accident – guns. and. people. = bad. I am quite sure residents can look after their homes without them.

No more details are known, other than the fact that the father and son were visiting a friend and the bot is now with his mother. I have no idea how or why the gun came to be in that child hands, but the fact remains that it did. And now a man is dead.

Something has to change.

What if that gun had blown off the head of the 4 year old? Would that have been better? Worse? No, it would still have been tragic. It just means that now someone has to have the job of telling that poor child the truth when he asks why daddy isn’t still around. Can you imagine how that conversation might progress?? Oh, I’m sorry sweetie, you shot him when you were 4. Now he’s dead and you are to blame. Well, American gun laws are also to blame. But still, you killed him.

He may have pulled the trigger, but as far as I am concerned, America handed him the gun.

 

SSDD

Impulses Influence Everyone

I recently made a post on how you shouldn’t let fear rule your life.

Well, I think this might become something of a theme with me. So get used to it. On with round two!

Fear doesn’t just rule your life, it ends up influencing the lives of those around you, too. Think about this situation:

Someone has a fear, something that is exercising a measure of restriction over their life. A person close to them has to deal with this, if not every day, then certainly on a regular basis.

So, not only are you struggling against that issue, it is being forced on the people around you, whether you want to or not, whether you mean to or not, it’s happening, regardless.

now you don't have to be perfect, you can be good

Say for example, that you have to have someone with you while you’re eating. You can’t eat alone, but at the same time, you can’t not eat. It’s not just that it would feel weird, sitting at an empty table, one lone table mat, one solitary spoon, a single bowl, a lonesome cup; it’s the whole social convension of the thing. If there are several people in a house, surely it is expected that they would eat together. No? Why not? And if you were to strike out on your own, let that cup have a friend in the shape your hand wrapped around it, that spoon find a home that isn’t chatting to someone at the same time, then how would other people react? Would they question you? What did you have? When? Why did you sit on your own and not wait til other people were about? Did you actually have something or are you just pretending you did?

So you have this inner turmoil. Then demand someone have breakfast with you.

Herein lies the problem.

What if the other residents of the household do not want to have breakfast at the same time as you? But you have to have it at a certain time. What will happen if you let them have a lie-in and have it later? Who knows? Maybe nothing. Maybe something terrible.  On and on it goes. The mental carousel from hell.

Even though for you, this seems like a huge deal that only you are dealing with, the necessity of having something done at a certain time, in a certain way, with the situation just the way you want it, this is not you exerting control – this is a part of your brain malfunctioning and controlling you and the people around you. As an individual, you have no influence here. You won’t, until you start fighting back.

It isn’t unusual for people to struggle. Everyone has struggles, whether that be with their mental health, physical health, work, body image, heights, hygiene, mobility… Any of these can be catastrophic for the sufferer but impact everyone. Think about it in the above example. You have to have someone with you all the time. That is going to get tiring, for everyone concerned, even though you are only doing it with the best of intentions, for reasons which seem right.

upstairs

So, to combat these problems you engage in behaviours, routines. It could be anything from waiting til people are out of the house before having your breakfast to dragging them out of bed, fully against their will.Think about how these impulses effect the people around you. You are just trying to get things done properly and avoid the fear that comes from not having them done right. So what if it’s not bothering them. It bothers you.

There are certain conditions, such as Eating Disorders and Obsessive Compulsive Disorders, Attention Deficit Disorder and Anxiety Disorders, that mean that familys are often more accepting of such bizzare behaviour. The idea is that you can’t help it, but that you are trying to and for the most part, that’s enough to satiate their corresponding impulse to wring you bloody neck!

But stress gets to us all. There will be times when the pressure of having to get up at whatever time has been deemed the “correct” time just isn’t going to work for everyone. If an argument kicks off there is one vital thing to remember;

Your loved one is not yelling at you, they are yelling at the fear controlling you. Controlling both of you.

Remind yourself of that, and maybe, just maybe, the fear of everything collapsing in on itself will get a little bit less.

And try having your breakfast on your own. The first step.

don't feel alone i'm here

SSDD

Words to Live By: Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde fangirl right here, a page of quotes by anyone else wouldn’t have made me feel more inspired than i do right now 🙂 the man was so forward thinking and progressive for his time, had he been alive right now, he would have been hailed rather than pillories and outlawed as he was then.
he is my creative hero. the picture of dorian gray is beautiful and tragic and so layered with meaning.

Review: The Hangover Part III

**SPOILER ALERT** just the last paragraph though, please, read on…

the_hangover_part_3_movie-wide

I feel like I have a hangover. And I’ve never even really had a hangover.

This was meant to be a review of what had the potential, however unlikely,  to be one of the funniest films of the year – The Hangover Part III. Yeah. So, a heads up; this one isn’t exactly going to be the most positive review in the world

I was so disappointed.

The only reason I can see for this movie to have been produced in the first place would be to deliver fans with a trifecta of classic Wolfpack hi jinks, a final, concluding pilgrimage into the boozy haze that is the Vegas/Bangkok adventures of those 4 friends. People like things to come in threes, afterall.

Well. It can only be said this attempt (feeble, poorly executed) was at best, bearable to watch. It wasn’t so much unfunny, as much as it just, wasn’t about a wild night out. Nor a missing friend. Not even memory loss.

Half way through I found myself actually wishing it would end! Where was the rambunctious night of drug and alcohol fueled madness? Where was the tiger?? The baby even??? Where was the HANGOVER!?!?

With a plot centered around repaying a debt they never knew they owed, this was more an amateur version of Ocean 11 than the Wolfpack Revisited. Yet again we have a kidnapping but was there ever any real danger? Was it even necessary? I actually forgot Doug had even been taken it mattered so little in the plot. Poor Justin Bartha. He’s a good actor, National Treasure would just have been another brooding Nicolas Cage film without him as nerdy side-kick, but he just isn’t necessary in The Hangover.

Put it this way – as much as I hate to see the guys criticised, I do not disagree with the Rotten Tomatoes rating of just 21%. I wasn’t alone in wanting and hour and a half of booze fuelled stumbling through the grandest suites in Las Vegas, doped up thrashing around the seediest back-alleys of the Thai Ladyboy underworld; I wanted a drug dealing monkey! What I got was that guy from The Flintstones and a sexually deviant Chinese guy with an agenda. Not even the so-called Sexiest Man in the World, Bradley Cooper, added any brownie points.

Sure, I chuckled from time to time, but the only big laugh was during that little bit of extra footage as the end credits rolled, signaling the end of this shambolic conclusion to a greatly anticlimactic comedy series. Instead of waking up with a tattoo on the side of his face, our dear Dentist Stu (Ed Helms) wakes up… with a boob job!

Now that would have been a hangover worth watching!

 

SSDD