Being polite, I would say that people who wear onesies in public – shouldn’t.
Actually, what I would like to say – and I will, because this is my blog and you ain’t my mother – is that they look bloody ridiculous and should be shot.
I draw the line at jumpsuits, mainly because I was not entirely convinced by them til I saw a rather marvelous one with an
embellished belt that would have looked terrible on me, had I not worn a t-shirt under it, due to my distinct lack of cleavage. But I did think to wear a shirt under it so I looked fabulous and my opinion changed like a Scottish wind.
But I feel that wearing pyjamas in public is too far! Supermarkets have made rules forbidding that kind of madness. Why should any other public domain be any different?
Take the subway, for example. I was on the subway the other day, for the first time in a very long time. I never usually travel that way, and what I saw convinced me I never should. You hear stories of various people favoured method of transport that defines their worth in terms of hilarity; When I was on the train I overheard…; On the bus this mental guy sat next to me and…; when I was driving, this mad dude was (insert action here) while they were on the motorway! You’ve heard it all before.
But I never travel on the subway and I, oddly, have not heard tales of wonder from people who have. So imagine my disappointment when one of my first experiences of such a sweaty, stuffy little tube exposed me to some mad bitch in a onesie! NO my good woman, NO, you are not in bed, you are not even in your house or on your street. You are in a public place and this is no place for your jammies!
Would it kill people to actually get dressed in the morning?? In order to put on one of these oneies, you have to get undressed. As in, out of jammies, in order to get back in to jammies. Then go outside. Why? Why would you waste your time doing this?
The fact that the girl on the subway has so prematurely prepared herself for her sleep that night, despite it likely being several miles and hours away, was clearly meant as a test on my tolerance levels of the people of Glasgow. I like to think I am tolerant to almost all things. Everything except the ubiquitously accepted shit things in the world, like murderers and rapists and the like. But this?
No thank you.
Hypocritically, one might argue, I actually have 2 onesies. One id a penguin and the other a Pikachu (if you were not a child of the 90s or a parent of one who was then you may not know what a Pikachu is; it is a Pokemon, and if you don’t know what that is, GOOGLE is your friend on this issue).
But I would NEVER wear it outside…
Except for those two times… Ok, let me explain..
The first time was for a club night. The theme was onesies. Legit reason to wear a onesie in public = it was the required dress code.
The second was because it was my Halloween costume, and I was outside for maybe 5 minutes while I made my way from the taxi bay to my friends house. These are decent reasons to go out dressed in jammies. I can think of few others! I mean, I’ve been outside in pjs before, but I was either sick or being dared to. Like when I walked around my local park at 3am in my jammies – not a onesie – when I was dared to. Again, a legit reason!
I just saw a popular British comedian wearing a onesie on telly. Can’t decide whether I am a fan still or forever shamed of him. Jimmy Carr, you are splitting me in ways I am not comfortable…