People Who Wear Onsies In Public… Shouldn’t

Being polite, I would say that people who wear onesies in public – shouldn’t.

Actually, what I would like to say – and I will, because this is my blog and you ain’t my mother – is that they look bloody ridiculous and should be shot.

I draw the line at jumpsuits, mainly because I was not entirely convinced by them til I saw a rather marvelous one with an

it looked a little something like this

it looked a little something like this

embellished belt that would have looked terrible on me, had I not worn a t-shirt under it, due to my distinct lack of cleavage. But I did think to wear a shirt under it so I looked fabulous and my opinion changed like a Scottish wind. 🙂

But I feel that wearing pyjamas in public is too far! Supermarkets have made rules forbidding that kind of madness. Why should any other public domain be any different?

Take the subway, for example. I was on the subway the other day, for the first time in a very long time. I never usually travel that way, and what I saw convinced me I never should. You hear stories of various people favoured method of transport that defines their worth in terms of hilarity; When I was on the train I overheard…; On the bus this mental guy sat next to me and…; when I was driving, this mad dude was (insert action here) while they were on the motorway! You’ve heard it all before.

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But I never travel on the subway and I, oddly, have not heard tales of wonder from people who have. So imagine my disappointment when one of my first experiences of such a sweaty, stuffy little tube  exposed me to some mad bitch in a onesie! NO my good woman, NO, you are not in bed, you are not even in your house or on your street. You are in a public place and this is no place for your jammies!

why would you do this!?

why would you do this!?

Would it kill people to actually get dressed in the morning?? In order to put on one of these oneies, you have to get undressed. As in, out of jammies, in order to get back in to jammies. Then go outside. Why? Why would you waste your time doing this?

The fact that the girl on the subway has so prematurely prepared herself for her sleep that night, despite it likely being several miles and hours away, was clearly meant as a test on my tolerance levels of the people of Glasgow. I like to think I am tolerant to almost all things. Everything except the ubiquitously accepted shit things in the world, like murderers and rapists and the like. But this?

No thank you.

Hypocritically, one might argue, I actually have 2 onesies. One id a penguin and the other a Pikachu (if you were not a child of the 90s or a parent of one who was then you may not know what a Pikachu is; it is a Pokemon, and if you don’t know what that is, GOOGLE is your friend on this issue).

But I would NEVER wear it outside…

Except for those two times… Ok, let me explain..

The first time was for a club night. The theme was onesies. Legit reason to wear a onesie in public = it was the required dress code.

oneie party!!

oneie party!!

The second was because it was my Halloween costume, and I was outside for maybe 5 minutes while I made my way from the taxi bay to my friends house. These are decent reasons to go out dressed in jammies. I can think of few others! I mean, I’ve been outside in pjs before, but I was either sick or being dared to. Like when I walked around my local park at 3am in my jammies – not a onesie – when I was dared to. Again, a legit reason!

**UPDATE**

I just saw a popular British comedian wearing a onesie on telly. Can’t decide whether I am a fan still or forever shamed of him. Jimmy Carr, you are splitting me in ways I am not comfortable…

Me in my Pikachu onesie :D

Me in my Pikachu onesie 😀

my boyfriend and I. he was a meth baker :D

my boyfriend and I. he was a meth baker 😀

see? :D

see? 😀

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Mid-Week Mayhem in Glasgow’s City Centre

Bottoms up!

“Three Pink Pussys, three Cock Sucking Cowboys, two Fanny Bombs, a Camel Toe, a Kermet the Frog and a Bushtucker Trail, please”.

Nope, that’s not the directors notes for a bad porno. That is an example of what your order might be at Tingle.

Tingle is a Shooter Bar and café located on 33 Mitchell Street in Glasgow. Fantastic pre-club venue – better as a place to find drinks with legendary names.

Don’t let its size put you off – it may be tiny on the inside – roughly equivalent to the cupboard Harry Potter spent his formative years living in – but the sheer entertainment value of their shot titles coupled with their student-friendly prices more than make up for it.

“Down in one!” is pretty much the only chant you will hear from this place. Forget your football teams; what matters in Glasgows hottest shooters bar is the colour of your poison.

And it is poison; their drinks menu is something to behold, if you have the nerve to try one of their more adventurous concoctions. Their signature drink is a Bushtucker Trial. A brutally punishing shot of pure Tequila, no lime or salt and complete with booze soaked Mezcal Algae Worm (and yes, you do have to drink the worm or be forever labelled a pussy by your mates).

But one of the best things about Tingle is wobbling up to the bar after your third Bubble Gum Drop (Banana liqueur and Midori) and asking in earnest for a Kermet the Frog (Midori and Peach Schnappes). Priceless. Or rather, cheap – all shots cost £1.50.

But that’s just taster, a warm up for the drinking muscles if you will (or a complete break down of them, depending on how literally you took the term “shots”). From there, it might be recommended that you take a trip down to Firewater, on Sauchiehall Street.

Just 15 minutes walk or £3.50 in a taxi when bribed with Haribo, Firewater is a stylish bar set underground in the centre of Glasgows’ busiest clubbing street.

Whether you start here or stumble in on your travels, one of the best features is not it’s chic, minimalist urban décor, with both booths and open floor space, nor the good looking bar staff. Not the cheap ass cocktail pitchers that come with questionable titles such as Tennessee Tea, which sounds ridiculous but taste delicious. It’s not even the hazy glow, that disguises how drunk everyone really is therefore making your own level of inebriation acceptable even to the most picky of punter.

Nope, what makes Firewater truely great as a mid-week, low budget hang out, is… 90p vodka mixers! That’s right, 90 pence! You can’t even buy water for that number of coppers!

So if you are looking for a laugh, try ­Tingle. If you can stagger out of there with some shred of dignity, Firewater is an acceptable location for a casual drink, pre-party venue, or stage for the main event. Ever filled with Glasgows best combination of girls in short skirts and guys in t-shirts, the dress code is “go with what you feel”, to a background of indie rock tunes.

Feel like moving on to some where a little livelier? Well, you are on Sauchiehall Street, so go explore!

So that was a brief run down on what i did on my 20th Birthday night out 🙂 follow as I have lead my lovelies! 😀

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