Wasn’t There Supposed to Be Cake?

Hey Hey Guys!!

Cake is a curious thing.

It’s something that is expected in certain situations, can have strong connotations and memories associated with it, the taste, the texture, the scent, the colour. Where you had a certain piece and how it made you feel.

Then there is cake in a general sense. It appears in certain situations; birthdays, weddings, anniversaries… funerals.

10307220_944531608892215_5531516514768362686_n 20140812_195423

Have you ever noticed (well, you will have, even if you don’t immediately realise it) that cake is often present toĀ sweeten the pill in horrible situations?

mood cookies

Fancy Shmancy little Battenberg...

Fancy Shmancy little Battenberg…

Now, I’m going togeneralise here and cast theĀ same net over certain biscuits as well as cakes. InĀ fancy waiting rooms, there is often a sweet “treat”. You might be offered a slice of battenburgh with a beverage, or a very British, Victoria Sponge, if you are particularly fortunate (and so helpĀ you god if you mention the fact thatĀ you recognise that cheap, dry sponge and overly sweet, grainy filling as the Ā£1 round you get from the co-op when you are absolutely desperate for a favour to take to the neighbours’ BBQ).

homemade cupcakes

homemade cupcakes

**As a wee aside, I actually hate Battenberg cake and am always bitterly disappointed to see it in a selection. Marzipan is the devil. It is always a bad omen.**

I absolutely HATE Battenberg...

I absolutely HATE Battenberg…

The thing is, there are some situations where cake is a terrible omen. Whether you are presented with a stale selection of sponges that might be the same ones you declined from your elderly neighbour, or strike gold with one of those pick ‘n mix boxes of biscuits, the result is always the same and always two-fold; the custard creams, jammy ones, cookies and anything containing chocolate are snapped up as soon as the seal is broken and the Garibaldis’ and those weird little wrinkly edged ones that taste like cardboard and aren’t quite a tea biscuit, nor a shortbread, are always left neglected. And you are in for some serious news. Generally, bad.


See, these are the sweets and semi-sweets that are broken in places like hospitals, doctors surgeries, lawyers offices. Places where there is a 50/50 chance you were to nervous to have lunch before you went there so just swigged from the open wine bottle in the fridge, put on you best “I’m totally in control” mask and walk in there like you’re heading to the gallows. Those who run these establishments know this and it means all sort of paper work for them if they have a client pass out on them, so they try to gently pump you full of sugar.

But when I got my bad news today, it was over the phone. I was on my way back to my (soon to be vacated) flat. I was outside. So I ask you;

Wasn’t there supposed to be cake?




First Ever Hand-Made Three Course Meal!!

First Ever Hand-Made Three Course Meal!!

Can you tell I’m a tiny bit chuffed about this?!?!?!?!?! šŸ˜€

So today I made good on a promise I made in April – I am nothing if not a woman of my word.

I promised my folks back in April that I would make them a three course meal, by hand, by way of an anniversary present. Unfortunately that couldn’t happen til now but whatever, I still did it!

I planned it SO carefully; I have had over a month to consider it so I guess that’s no surprise.

I would start savoury, move to spicy, finish with sweet. It would be a perfectly balancedĀ journey through the taste extremes; a gentle introduction, pedestrian even, compared to what would follow,Ā with light and creamy flavours, before taking themĀ on an explosive roller-coaster of riotousĀ foreign herbs and spices! Texture and colour would be the theme of the dishes, sharp and tangy and zingyĀ and crunchy, like being thrown head-first down white water rapids when they think they are just going for a leisurely stroll along the river bank! If they survived that adventure, their reward would be my sweet speciality – cookies!! Of many a wonderous kind, no more than two the same, a plethora of options on an overflowing plate of chocolate chip joy.

In the end… it didn’t quite work out exactly like that…

For one thing, I forgot, amid my excitement… that I can’t… exactly… cook… all that well…

BUT I AM AN unofficial COOKIE EXPERT!!!!! That part went a little too well, if truth be told. I have an ever-so-slight obsession with cookies so I may have gotten a little over enthusiastic and experimental. I over-estimated how many cookies three people can eat in one sitting, so instead of making a batch of, say, six or even a nice round 10, we ended up with… 23 šŸ˜€

Maybe I’mĀ pushing it a little, nothing completely disastrousĀ happened and honestly, all the food turned out great. Mixing cultures confused my culinarilyuninterestedĀ father – he questioned the asian orientation of our meal after I served an Indian curry with veggie samosas, boiled rice, soy sauce and cider.

I was pushing it a bit for time so instead of having dinner at half five, it was more like seven; cue the impatient grumblings of my fathers stomach and the long suffering eye-roll of mum. Admittedly, that was roughly when I started swearing, despite the fact that nothing was actually going wrong. And I had to ask my mum to help me cook the chicken (that move was actually more strategic – if we all get ill, it ain’t me they’re going to be pinning the mishandling of raw meat on… ironic considering I just completed food hygiene training but hey…)

Happily though, the theme was roughly stuck to.

For starters, I made cherry tomatoes stuffed with goats cheese, sprinkled with parsley. šŸ™‚ savoury, tasty, creamy, palatable, like sorbet without the zing.

Then it was onto the main, which was as I said before. I employed a, “I made the food, you bring the booze” stance here. They did not disappoint.

Then my SUPER-SPECIAL-AWESOME-COOKIE-SUPREME-PLATTER was delivered with my other great love – COFFEE!! šŸ˜€ The selection was as follows; chocolateĀ chip, double chocolate chip, trippleĀ choc,Ā iced chocolate chip, iced double chocolate chip, mallowĀ chocolate chip, double chocolate chip mallow, peanut and chocĀ chip, double chocĀ and peanut butter, chocĀ chip and razzies, choc chip and jelly beans.

There were so many that I have yet to sample them all but fear not, they shall soon be devoured.

Big thanks to Sally’s Baking Addiction for her cookie ingenuity!! Check her out, she’s awesome!! http://sallysbakingaddiction.com/